Marriage & Relationship Counselling

Under the best of circumstances, a relationship is hard to keep together. The modern earth we live in can make the job of keeping a relationship on track even more difficult. Between both companions having busy schedules that include work, overtime, kids, and life in general, there does not seem to be much time for couples to shell out together strengthening their relationship. When they do have time together, it would seem that they are constantly discussing economic worries or other issues instead of their relationship. This helps make it hard for many partners to keep the love and commitment in their relationship.

When couples start this pattern, they really should seek marriage and relationship counselling just before their relationship gets beyond help. Seeking counselling early will give the couple a much better likelihood of saving their marriage or relationship. That is one thing that ought to be made clear, counselling is not just for those that are married, any couple can make use of counselling if they are interested in keeping a relationship together. Marriage and relationship counselling can work well, and be the ideal solution for any couple that is seeking answers to the issues that are interfering with their relationship. The one thing that both people need to prepare themselves for is the possibility that the answers you receive from your counsellor may not be what you expect.

Someone that is well trained in marriage and relationship counselling will know not to take sides. This can be a difficultyfor some that go to counselling, because they assume the counsellor will take their side against their partner. A qualified counsellor will understand that there is never any “right” or “wrong” in a relationship, that each person will have valid points and issues.

When a relationship runs into trouble it is never a issue of which person is right or incorrect about an issue, the trouble lies with how the couple acquire issues.

Partners that talk issues out and come to an equitable solution are less probably to have issue. The couples that end up having trouble are the ones that argue about issues and never come to a solution. Instead of rationally solving the issue, they allow their feelings to be brought into every conversation, when that happens issues never seem to get resolved.

Marriage and relationship guidance will teach each person to own their feelings and remove them from everyday choices. Many people will have issues carrying out this and it could take a lot of time and practice for some to reach the point where they can keep their emotions in check. When discussing an issue each person needs to learn to stay on the issue, and not use the issue as an excuse to make a personal attack against his or her partner.

Your counsellor will also have one-on-one discussions with both people so that they can search for behavioral patterns that might be in the way of the relationship. Many people get very comfortable with destructive patterns such as anger, the person may be so relaxed with their way of dealing conflict that they may not realise what they are carrying out. When the counsellor points out these patterns, some people will be embarrassed, some will be defensive, and others will strive to change the pattern.

Marriage and relationship counselling can assist both companions in working with all of their personal issues that could be affecting the relationship. If one person has low self-esteem, the counsellor will help them build their confidence. People with no any self-esteem will often let their partners take advantage of them inside of the relationship. This is not a good situation for either partner but it is especially bad for the one who lacks confidence in themselves.

Marriage and relationship counselling can help both people uncover underlying feelings and issues that are affecting their relationship. dealing with these issues will not only make your relationship with your partner better, it could also help you with all of the relationships in your life. There are many distinct areas to seek marriage and relationship counselling. You can seek help from a professional counsellor, from someone inside your religion, or a social worker. No make a difference where you seek counselling, if you are having dilemma inside your marriage or relationship it is a good idea to seek the guidance and counsel of a trained outside party.

We offer quality marriage counselling sydney and across NSW. Associated marriage counsellors Sydney; for quality marriage counselling sydney and at 10 other locations. Call (02) 8002 1019 , 418/185 Elizabeth Street, Sydney NSW 2000.

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    Am I Dating a Narcissist?

    Here are some warning signs that a person you have met or are starting a relationship with may be a Narcissist.

    He may blame every mistake of his, every inadequacy or mishap on other people, or on the world at large.

    He may be hypersensitive to ribbing and insults. He may treat children or animals with little thought and respect.

    He may be too keen to get more time together and create a whirlwind relationship.

    He can immediately cast you in the role of the love of his life and press for exclusivity and instant intimacy. He may text or phone you incessantly, or need to know where you are at all times.

    He may not respect your boundaries and privacy, or may ignore your wishes, or want to be included in everything you do.

    He may tend to want to control the situation and you compulsively, eg insist you ride in his car, hold on to the car keys, the money, or the theatre tickets. He may disapprove if you are away for too long, and interrogate you when you return. He may insist on a certain way of dressing.

    He may act in a patronizing and condescending manner and criticise you often. He may emphasise your smallest faults (devalues you) even as he exaggerates your talents, traits, and skills (idealises you).

    He may be wildly unrealistic in his expectations from you, from himself, from the budding relationship, and from life in general.

    He may tell you that you make him feel good. Next thing, he may tell you that you make him feel bad, or that you make him feel violent, or that you provoke him.

    He adopts a physical posture which implies and exudes an air of superiority, seniority, hidden powers, mysteriousness or amused indifference.

    He takes part in social interactions and banter condescendingly, from a position of superiority.

    He may ask for special treatment of some kind. Not to wait his turn, to have a longer or a shorter therapeutic session, to talk directly to authority figures (and not to their assistants or secretaries), to be granted special payment terms, to enjoy custom tailored arrangements, and can
    frequently and embarrassingly dress down service providers such as waiters or taxi drivers.

    He flatters, adores, admires and applauds you in an embarrassingly exaggerated and profuse manner.

    In general, he prefers show-off to substance and is shallow. He will not admit to ignorance or to failure in any field.

    He may brag incessantly. His speech is peppered with I, my, myself, and mine. He describes himself as intelligent, or rich, or modest, or intuitive, or creative, but always excessively, implausibly, and extraordinarily so.

    His past life may sound unusually rich and complex. His achievements often seem beyond his age and education. Yet, his actual condition is in reality incompatible with his claims. He name-drops and claims other people’s experiences and accomplishments as his own.

    He likes to talk about himself and only about himself. He is not interested in others or what they have to say. He is never reciprocal. He acts disdainful, even angry, if he feels an intrusion on his precious time.

    In general, he is very impatient, easily bored, with strong attention deficits, unless and until he is the topic of discussion.

    If you ask him about his emotions, he will intellectualise, rationalise, or talk about himself in the third person and in a detached scientific tone.

    He may become enraged when required to examine his motives, fears, hopes, wishes, and needs.

    He is usually very serious about himself. He may possess a fabulous sense of humour, scathing and cynical, but rarely is he self-deprecating.

    If you have found that you are already in a relationship with a Narcissist, and would like relationship counselling, or help in leaving a Narcissist, contact us at the Hart Centre Australia. We have over 50 Psychologists around Australia who have been educated in Narcissism and can knowledgably help you in dealing with your situation. We also offer Skype sessions for overseas clients or those you can’t attend one of our centres. Phone Australia 1300 830 553, or +617 55190004

    Home Solar Power Now Cheaper than Coal

    Home Solar Power is now cheaper than Coal By installing Solar Power on your home you now have the capability to create your own clean power cheaper than dirty coal based electricity whilst also doing your bit towards saving the planet.

    How Solar Power works:
    Solar Panels or photovoltaic panels convert sunlight into direct current electricity. This direct current electricity is then distributed to a box called an inverter that converts this electricity into alternating current power that can be used within your home or be exported to the electricity grid for other houses in the area to purchase.

    The Price you are currently paying for electricity:
    Depending on the state and town you are in and depending on the time of day you use electricity will depend on how much you are charged for it. On average, households can pay between $0.30 and $0.40 per KwH for electricity during peak hours which are usually between 2pm and 8pm. Costs for shoulder period electricity may be around $0.15 to $0.20 per KwH. .

    The Price of Solar Electricity:
    As most homeowners buy or lease a Solar Power System rather than actually buy the electricity, the standard mechanism for determining the actual cost of this electricity is done using the LCOE (Levelised Cost of Electricity). This is calculated by taking the upfront cost of the system and dividing it by the amount of KwH’s it will produce over its lifetime. .

    At the moment a 1.5kW Solar Installation costs around $2,500 fully installed (after available rebates). Over the expected 20 year life of the system, it should produce around 36,000 KwH’s. When dividing the upfront system cost by this number, it equates to an average electricity price of under $0.07 per KwH – significantly cheaper than current electricity prices. As electricity prices significantly increase over time this difference becomes even greater, as the electricity costs from the Solar Power installation remain the same.

    To understand your options for getting your home powered with Solar Panels, or to understand more about Commercial Solar Power contact Todae Solar on 1300 GO SOLAR for high quality Solar Power Installations across Australia.

    What is Narcissism?

    Have you ever got the sense that your partner thinks he or she is generally superior to you, or more entitled to things than you are? Does he or she find a multitude of ways to devalue you or ignore you? Does he or he try to control you? If so, you may be living with a Narcissist.

    Narcissism is considered a spectrum Disorder, which means that there are degrees of manifestation of the characteristics, so a person could have a couple of Narcissistic traits, right through to many or all, which means they would be closer to a Narcissistic Personality Disorder, as defined in the DSMIV.

    Generally speaking, Narcissism is a condition of an Inflated False Self, which gives him or her a strong sense of self importance and a grandiose image of himself. He enters into relationships entirely for the purpose of keeping his grandiosity reinforced, as a source of Narcissistic supply for himself. He will idealise those who mirror this for him and devalue anyone as soon as they don’t. There is a real lack of genuine empathy for, or real interest in others, and a massive denial of his own problems, weaknesses, and vulnerabilities.
    How did you become a willing victim? Why you?

    If you find yourself in a relationship with a Narcissist, at some stage you might wonder why you? What does this say about you, your tolerance for pain and your sanity?
    It is true that there is a particular kind of person that finds themself with a Narcissist, at least often well beyond the first indication that there is an underlying nastiness in him.

    The type of individual who seems to unwittingly attract a Narcissist is someone who has Borderline characteristics, (which has also been referred to as Co-dependent or compliant) and has a deflated false self.

    In Transactional Analysis terms, a Narcissist’s underlying Life position is I’m Ok, You’re Not OK, whereas a Borderline’s underlying Life Position is I’m Not OK, You’re OK.

    Interestingly, a Borderline’s profile is less defended that the Narcissist, and less destructive to others, and therefore closer to achieving a healthy relationship, if you can gain true insight into what is happening and what is going wrong in your relationships and be able to develop a stronger identity and boundaries.
    Can our relationship be helped?

    If both you and your partner are committed to make your relationship a healthy and happy one, then I believe this is worth working on.

    Finding a Psychologist who is familiar and experienced with these conditions is important as Narcissism can be notoriously difficult to pick up in a few sessions if the Psychologist is not trained in this. (Education on Narcissism is taught in Psychology courses but does not fully explain the widespread occurrence of this condition, and also the full ramifications of this, particularly to the partner. We at the Hart Centre are committed to ongoing training in these areas and in supporting you in managing yourself and your relationships.)

    The success of relationship counselling and marriage counselling depends on many factors, but is largely due to the commitment of both partners to see their patterns and contributions, and be willing to change.

    You will often not know how willing you and your partner are to do this until you attempt to do so. You will be able to see for yourselves over 3 to 6 sessions what real effort each of you are putting in to see the problems, own your contributions and make changes.

    We can also support you if you have decided to leave your Narcissistic partner, and want help and assistance in rebuilding your life.

    The Hart Centre has 54 centres for relationship and marriage counselling around Australia, so you will most probably find one close to you. You will find our Sydney relationship counselling centres in 15 different locations in Sydney, both in the CBD and suburbs. In Adelaide we have relationship and marriage counselling centres in 5 locations across Adelaide. Phone 1300830552 to speak to our friendly receptionists.

    For relationship counselling Sydney and marriage counselling Sydney contact the Hart Center. The Hart Center can also help with marriage counselling Adelaide.

    Hay – New South Wales

    Located near the scenic Murrumbidgee River in idyllic South Western NSW, the Riverina Shire of Hay has expanded from its modest origins in the Gold Rush era to a significant agricultural and transportation nexus and popular tourist attraction. Combining natural beauty, historical heritage and important Australian industry, the Hay Shire includes both the town of Hay as well as the surrounding villages of Booligal, Maude and One Tree. The flat saltbrush grasslands of Hay are home to some of Australia’s leading wool growing and sheep meat producing areas, as well as cattle properties and many agricultural outputs such as lettuce and tomatoes.

    Also around Hay are the Riverine Forest, Grey Box Woodlands and Native Grasslands, home to a substantial amount of famous Australian wildlife, such as Kangaroos and Tiger Quolls. The plains of Hay have provided ideal living conditions for human settlement going back to the Nari Nari Aboriginal community who inhabited the area. White settlement began with the founding of four squatter properties, growing into a community funded by commerce with the stockmen and riverboats who traversed Langs Crossing.

    Along with the founding of a hotel, post office and courthouse, Hay grew substantially with the famous Cobb and Co making it their base of operations for Victoria and the Riverina, including the largest stagecoach factory outside of Sydney. Growing tenfold in population, Hay was later depopulated due to almost every eligible adult male enlisting for service in World War I, of which 1/6 were did not make it back. Hay’s population would later be doubled after the thousands of POWs and refugees held in the area during World War II were released and later resettled in Hay. Still a rural agricultural town, Hay embraces and celebrates its heritage and natural beauty with a number of locations and establishments that cater to tourists and locals alike.

    For short term accommodation hay, accommodation hay or holiday home hay, make sure you investigate Murrumbidgee Cottages. Both of our cottages are situated just a short distance from the picturesque Murrumbidgee river and are perfect for families. If you are looking for a holiday home for a couple of days, short term accommodation or even something longer either would be a great fit.

    How does Relationship Therapy Work?

    Does relationship counselling work? How about individual therapy for anxiety and depression. Associated Counsellors & Psychologists Sydney, a leading service provider, answers your questions about counselling therapy.

    A common question asked by clients is: ”Does counselling really work?” Like our clients, you may be looking for help for your relationship, with an anxiety problem or stress, or perhaps low mood or depression. Whatever the reasons causing concern, the good news is that clinical counselling is proven to clearly help those with common mental health complaints like anxiety and depression. Moreover, relationship counselling for marriage or couple issues is also a validated therapy for assisting couples to improve the quality of their relationship.

    How does counselling work?
    There are many types of treatments which counsellors can employ to help you. The chosen mode will largely depend on the counsellors training and their assessment of your difficulty. Some of the best validated treatments for anxiety and depression include cognitive behavioural therapy. This therapy works by thinking in depth about behaviours and thoughts that currently increase your level of anxiety or depression, and help you to overcome this habitual response. For instance, those who suffer anxiety could be telling themselves things like: ”I will never make it”, or ”I will be terribly embarrassed if people see how nervous I am”. Such thoughts are recognised together with your therapist, and new, positive self-representations are now employed to challenge these beliefs. With continued practice and perhaps some skills training such as relaxation, very positive results are experienced by most people.

    Can relationship counselling really help my marriage?
    Relationships are changeable -they go through phases, from the initial honeymoon stage to the many stages of maturing of the relationships. For many couples, as the relationship matures, so do personal demands and responsibility, whether it’s in the form of increased work pressure or children coming along, etc. As these common pressures increase, the partners in the relationship are no longer able to accommodate each other’s emotional needs, and conflict may develop – usually into frequent and recurring arguments. Relationship counselling enables each partner to learn to soothe their own distress, and at the same time learn to identify and bring out into the open any underlying needs that are going unmet. Partners are able to begin to negotiate what they can do for each other and which demands may need to go unmet. A new, more realistic life plan is recognised and can be worked with.

    What issues can our psychologists help with?
    Therapists and psychologists are familiar with assisting through a wide range of issues including anxiety or stress, depression or sadness, couple and marriage issues, grief and bereavement, addictions, anger management, eating disorders and many other complaints of modern living.

    How can I choose a counsellor or psychologist?
    Contact a registered counsellor or psychologist for a start to a better life. Licenced mental health professionals can work with you to overcome emotional challenges. Whatever country you are in you can get assistance from the professional body which registers counsellors or psychologists in your state. In Australia, Associated Counsellors & Psychologists Sydney are able to offer details of a registered therapist near you.

    Associated Counsellors & Psychologists Sydney – counselling services including, cognitive behaviour therapy, general counselling, psychology and marriage counselling. Call (02)8205 0566 or visit 418/185 Elizabeth Street, Sydney 2000.

    Blood in Crime Scene Investigation

    At the scene of any violent crime, the examining officer is likely to find blood and evidence of other bodily fluids. These are able to tell a great deal about what occurred, not only about how the crime was committed, but also about the persons involved.

    These days, nearly everybody knows their blood type, whether it is A, B, AB, or 0, and Rhesus negative or positive. This categorising of blood into types was first made by Austrian physiologist Karl Landsteiner at the end of the 19th century. In his experiments, he took small amounts of blood and separated the red cells from the liquid, called serum. He did this by spinning the blood at high speed in a centrifuge. Then he took the serum and added red cells from different people. They behaved in two different ways: either the cells mixed with the serum, or they clumped together (clotted), (“agglutinated”).

    Many attempts at blood transfusion had been made in the past, but this observation explained for the first time why a great proportion had failed. When introduced blood was not of the same type as that in the body, it produced agglutination, and the patient died. Tests of blood samples to discover whether agglutination will occur is now done prior to a transfusion being made.

    DIVIDING BLOOD INTO GROUPS
    Red blood cells contain substances called antigens. These help create antibodies which fight infection and disease. Landsteiner believed that his experiment showed the presence of two specific antigens, which he labelled A and B. The discovery of these antigens caused him to divide human blood into 4 basic groups:

    Group A: antigen A present; antigen B absent
    Group B: antigen A absent; antigen B present
    Group AB: both antigens A and B present
    Group 0: both antigens absent

    The particular blood group of an individual depends on the genetic inheritance from both parents. Known as ABO typing, it has been used, for example, to help identify the biological father in a paternity case. How common each group is varies from one national population to another. In the United States, for example, the relative proportions of ABO groups are roughly 39 percent A, 13 percent B, 43 percent 0, and 5 percent AB.

    In 1927, Landsteiner found two other antigen types, labelling their occurrence as M, N, and MN. In 1940, working in the United States, he and A.S. Wiener discovered the Rhesus factor, named after the Rhesus monkeys they used in their investigations. Since then, other researchers have introduced more than a dozen additional group systems. Different proteins and enzymes associated with specific blood groups have also been identified.

    WHAT THIS MEANS FOR FORENSICS
    The ability to identify blood type is an excellent means for revealing crucial evidence in a forensic investigation. If, for example, a victim’s ABO type is 0, and remains of blood of this type are discovered on clothing of a suspect whose type is A, there is a possibility that they have come from the victim.

    Making use of the many other blood typing systems now available, this probability can be greatly increased. If blood of type 0 occurs in 43% of the population, the substance haptoglobin-2 in 36% of these, and the enzyme PGM-2 in 5%, then the probability of an individual having these three blood types together is 43 x 36 x 5 = 7,740 in one million. In other words, around eight people in every thousand will have this specific type of blood. It’s still not enough to obtain a conviction on this evidence alone, but it can help to reduce the group of suspects.

    In 1925, another important discovery occurred. Around 80% of humans are ‘secretors’. This means their saliva, urine, perspiration, and semen contain the same substances as their blood, and are able to be used for typing in a similar way. In 1940, two British researchers discovered that it was possible to distinguish between female and male body cells, particularly the white blood cells and those of the lining of the mouth. Blood typing has now become so precise that recently one scientist showed that he could distinguish between the blood of his twin daughters, who were genetically identical, because one had experienced chicken pox and the other had not.

    SPLASHES OF BLOOD
    At the scene of a violent homicidal attack, blood may be present in great quantities. Not only will it be found on the victim, but also on the weapon and the surroundings. Indoors, the floors, walls, and even the ceilings may be splashed. Careful observation of these bloodstains can provide valuable clues about what took place. Bloodstains and splashes are classified into six basic types.

    Round drops are seen on horizontal surfaces; depending on the height from which they fell, they can spray out into a starlike shape. Splashes of blood are shaped like an exclamation mark; they show that blood has flown through the air and hit a surface at an angle. While a victim is still alive, spurts of blood result from the pumping action of the heart. A major artery can spray the blood a great distance.

    Pools form around the body of the bleeding person. If there is more than one pool, he either dragged himself, or was moved, from one area to another before dying. Smears are likely also found if this happens. Trails are left when a bloody corpse is moved. There will be drops found if the body was carried, and smears if it was dragged.

    If you are looking for a Sydney Criminal Lawyer, contact Go to Court. Our Sydney Criminal Lawyer is here to help. BS14082011SCL

    Fire up the Spit Roast Dad !

    spit-roast-hire-sydneyEveryone has their special memory of family barbecues when they were younger, with dad at the helm turning the meat. A spit roast can be described as the ultimate barbecue for an evening of socializing be it with friends or family. This is because the rotisserie serves as a centerpiece for the evening as well as a handy conversation starter. One of the greatest benefits of a spit roast is the ease of use compared to that of a traditional barbecue. No more slaving over a hot grill hoping that the meat is just right. The rotisserie takes care of even heat distribution as well as leaving the “cooks” hands free to actually enjoy the party.The only thing that a chef needs to concentrate on is the basting of the meat and veggies on the spit, one might favour a smokey hickory baste, or maybe a special family recipe. The options are boundless and only limited to ones imagination. Spit roast hire Sydney can help you get your spit roast organised with supplies and advice.

    Another great benefit of the Spit roast is the ability to serve any number of people that may be present at the occasion. Did ten extra guests suddenly crash the party? No problem! just slap on another hunk of meat to the rotisserie and you’re sorted! This does not necessarily mean that one needs to cook huge amounts of meat at a time in order have a spit roast. Any number of portions can be catered for, be it two or fifty people.

    It’s quite easy to assume that vegetarians would be left out of the equation when talking about a spit roast, this could not be further from the truth. There are various options available for vegetarians which involve placing different vegetables such as aubergines or squashes on the rotisserie. These can be placed right next to the meat so that everyone at the party is catered for with nobody feeling excluded. The presence of a spit roast can truly give a party a greater chance of success.

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    Law firm marketing: Making the most of what you’ve got!

    If the marketing strategy for your law company is based on online marketing, niche marketing to particular industries, traditional advertising, or just retaining and growing a share of your stable of clients, you’ll need to generate content.

    Content is the lifeblood of legal marketing, without it you may as well not have a law firm marketing plan. However, producing content requires hard work, and you need to make the most of the writing that you can produce. Following are some quick ideas for making sure you use the two most reliably produced types of legal marketing content as effectively as you can.

    Law Firm Marketing – Written material (blogs, email alerts, brochures, guides, information sheets)
    If you have created any worthwhile, interesting material of any of the forms above, you don’t need to just send it out once or print it and let it stagnate in your reception. Distribute the content as broadly as is possible. For each piece of written material you produce, consider:

    - Have I sent it to as many, relevant, clients as possible?
    - Has it been loaded onto our website?
    - Have I sent it directly to referrers, associates and other professionals?
    - Have I linked to it with a post on Facebook and a tweet on Twitter?
    - Has it been sent to media contacts?
    - Are others in my firm aware of it and could they explain it in detail if a client has queries about it?
    - Can I turn it into a different kind of content and distribute in a different format?

    Law Firm Marketing – Presentations
    Presentations are generally created with a specific audience in mind, or because of a particular request. As a result they tend to be presented only once then left to stagnate. All of the effort and time required to prepare them gets just one showing. To get much more benefit from your presentation consider:

    - Who else could I show it to?
    - How can I let the most people know about it?
    - Have I mentioned it on our website, Facebook, Twitter, or offered to present it to others?
    - Can I send the presentation in hard copy to people who couldn’t attend the seminar?
    - Can I record an audio or video of the presentation and distribute it via email or directly?
    - Is it viable to write an article or blog discussing topics that arose from the presentation?
    - Have I sent additional content to all the people that attended the presentation?

    While a lot of these suggestions might seem like more work just when you’ve probably damaged your monthly billings with the amount of time you spent preparing the first lot of material, it’s important to remember that it’s far easier to use a small amount of time at the end to really maximise on the impression you’ve already produced than to produce a whole new piece of legal marketing material.

    Maximise the benefits of the time and effort you put into law firm marketing and you’ll discover that the next time you create content you’ll feel more confident about how effective that content will be.

    John Gray is a practising lawyer and the Senior Marketer at John Gray Marketing, an Australian specialist law firm and legal marketing consultancy. If you are interested in law marketing, legal marketing and marketing for lawyers, contact John Gray today.